The Lost World of Remember WENN      Lost Scenes Available:

"Sight Unseen"

"Like a Brother"

"Who's Scott Sherwood?"

"The Importance of Being Betty"

"Pratfall"

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As in every television series, Remember WENN occasionally has scenes that are cut for time purposes. Here for your amusement and edification—in the philosophy of "there's always room for more WENN" <g>—is a collection of them.

Please note that, as with all script excerpts throughout this website, the text may not be reproduced without the permission of its author, and I thank Rupert Holmes for kindly permitting me to share these unseen scenes with fellow WENN fans.


Lest you think Mackie was neglectful in not offering the other ladies at WENN his Benny Goodman tickets in "Sight Unseen," following are the scenes that originally framed his asking of Eugenia. (And for the record, Miss Reece, I do!):

CAMERA STAYS WITH Mackie as he listens to the piano
music emanating from Gertie's radio.

MACKIE
You know, Gertie, I still have those tickets for
Benny Goodman at Town Hall. The seats are right on
top of Gene Krupa's tom-tom. What do you say?

GERTIE
I can't even think about it, Mackie. The Vagabond
has spoiled me for all other men. It's him or no
one.

MACKIE
(genuinely bewildered)
But... that's me, Gertrude. I am the Vagabond.

GERTIE
I know, and Clark Kent is Superman. But who dreams
about Clark Kent?

And later:

INT. THE STUDIO - JUST AFTER THE VAGABOND BROADCAST

In the studio, MACKIE has collared the departing
EUGENIA near the door.

MACKIE
...and it's Benny Goodman's only concert in town
this year.

Eugenia is thrilled/flustered and flattered.

EUGENIA
Oh, Mister Bloom, I'm, I'm very tempted—
(regretfully, prudently)
But I don't think I should.

MACKIE
Why?

EUGENIA
Well, I was never going to say anything, but...
(confides with great reserve)
...you must have noticed the dynamic atmosphere
whenever we're on the air together. If we were to
sit right next to each other in a concert hall, the
jazz rhythms stirring our most primitive emotions
to the surface... we wouldn't want to see that
happen, Mr. Bloom.

MACKIE
No, I'm sure we wouldn't.

EUGENIA
I think we have to be strong and fight this, for
the good of the station. But... thanks!

Eugenia leaves the room, delighted. HILARY is
reapplying lipstick and has obviously overheard this.

HILARY
Well... I'm sure in your wildest dreams you never
thought this would happen, Mackie Bloom, but I
will go to the concert with you. I adore Benny
Goodman. You may take your seat with Hilary Booth
on your arm!

Mackie looks at her and the tickets unhappily.

MACKIE
Gee, I wouldn't feel right about that, Hilary.
Jeff's my best friend.

HILARY
Oh, Jeffrey and I have a little "Understanding." I
can be escorted to special events by other men...
and he has to understand.
(walks toward him)
What row are the seats?

MACKIE
(proudly)
Second row center, first balcony.

HILARY
Balcony? Balcony? Oh - oh no, I couldn't. I-
"Hilary Booth was seen in the balcon-" no, I- I just
couldn't. I couldn't. I'm terribly sorry.
(shiver)
The Balcony.
(consoling)
But thank you for such a tempting invitation!

In the initial script for "Sight Unseen," Jeff (dressed in his ringmaster tuxedo) and Hilary actually met Angela earlier in the story—here's the original sequence.

INT. THE GREEN ROOM

Jeff enters the Green Room ... and immediately
notices ANGELA seated on the couch. He likes her
looks and says warmly:

JEFF
Well. Hello there.

ANGELA
Hello.
(looks up expectantly)
Are you... "The Vagabond?"

JEFF
What? Oh...
(remembers his sophisticated outfit)
No. Don't let appearances fool you.

ANGELA
I don't, generally speaking.

Jeff moves to the couch perpendicular to the seat
where Angela is sitting. He goes through the tongue-
in-cheek formality of asking:

JEFF
Is this seat next to you taken?

ANGELA
(drily)
I'm not sure.

JEFF
Well, I'll just have to take my chances.

ANGELA
You're Jeff Singer, correct?

JEFF
Yes. Have we met?

ANGELA
No but I wake up with you every morning. The show
you do with your wife, Bedside Manor, it comes on
the air just as I'm stepping out of the shower.
Hearing your voice makes me feel practically naked
at the moment. Am I blushing?

JEFF
Not so I'd notice. You live in Pittsburgh?

ANGELA
Avalon. I never get into town. I'm only here today
to catch a train to New York.

JEFF
Pittsburgh is quite a town. If you find yourself
with some free time some afternoon, I'd be glad to
show you the sights.

ANGELA
That would make for a change.
(laughs)
I've hit the jackpot today. You're the second person
in the last five minutes who hasn't realized I'm
blind.

Jeff had leaned forward intimately and locked his
stare with her. He freezes, acutely embarrassed,
and tries to cover, but Freud takes control of his
slips.

JEFF
Of course you're blind. I was just joking... you
see.
(instantly regretting this last phrase)
I mean, you don't see... uh, I mean: "don't you see."
(desperate, glancing at his watch)
Well. Oh My Gosh, just LOOK at the time! That is to
say, my watch looks like it's time for me to—
(rising, trying to get away gracefully and unable
to do anything but slip on Freudians)
—be on the air. So I'll be seeing you — uhm,
saying you, saying so long for — ah, Hilary!

HILARY BOOTH enters the Green Room just as Jeff was
hoping to exit via the same door.

JEFF
Hilary, just in time! You're a sight for sore - uhm
sure, uh, sure-ly you have never met this young
woman here, she's a fan of our show...
(to Angela)
I don't know your name but of course this is my wife
Hilary Booth as you can... see how time flies when
we're all having such a nice Ö time.
(pause for air)
Hello Hilary.

HILARY You're behaving very strangely, Jeffrey dear.
(looks at attractive Angela)
I suppose I needn't look far to see why.

Hilary crosses to the couch where Jeff was sitting
and sits in the same location. She continues to
Angela:

HILARY (cont'd)
No doubt my husband has been giving you the eye.

JEFF
Hilary!

HILARY (cont'd)
(to Angela)
Well, I assure you he's absolutely harmless. You'll
just have to take my word for that on blind faith.

That's it for Jeff. He's bailing out.

JEFF
Good-bye Hilary. Good-bye, Miss...

Jeff leaves. Hilary smiles at Angela.

HILARY
So... you're a fan. Do you only know me from radio
or—

ANGELA
Well, no, I did go to your show RAZZLE DAZZLE in
New York a few years ago—

HILARY
So you saw me on Broadway!

ANGELA
Well, no, but let me explain—

HILARY
No need. I only missed one performance - that was
the night Grace Cavendish filled in for me - oh,
you must have been so disappointed!

ANGELA
Well, no I loved the show even though I wasn't able
to—

HILARY
You actually liked her? No one has ever told me
they liked her—

ANGELA
No, listen, you were performing when I went. I
loved you, I heard you, I just didn't see you,
because I happen to be blind.

Hilary processes this for a moment.

HILARY
Oh, well thank heavens! I thought you liked her
over me!!

ANGELA
No, you were wonderful.

HILARY
You're too kind. Oh, but of course that means you
didn't get to see my dance number, "Tap Tap, Here
Comes Connie..."

Hilary puts her hand on Angela's arm chummily.

HILARY (cont'd)
...let me try to describe it for you. I appeared at
the top of this long staircase...

Remember after Jeff and Hilary returned to the studio after the Benny Goodman concert to get the script that she forgot? Ever wonder what she disliked about that script?:

HILARY
A powerhouse! What's that expression? "It doesn't
mean anything if it hasn't gotten that swing!"
(Hilary spots the script)
There's that script! "PARADISE LOST!" Sounds
depressing.

JEFF
It's in two parts. We don't lose it till Tuesday.


In "Like a Brother," two amusing Gertie scenes had to be cut. The first takes place after Mackie, dismayed at his comedy performance, has asked Mr. Foley for help, and before the scene in which Betty leaves to see about a location for Victor's memorial. Also note Maple's interest in a certain "man of a thousand voices":

INT. RECEPTION AREA - AFTERNOON - DAY 2

MAPLE has just entered, pretty sharp looking.
GERTIE is at her desk, different outfit; C.J. THE
ENGINEER is on his way out for a late lunch with
his DATE, so there is a little more activity at
reception than is usually the case.

MAPLE
Hi, C.J. See you later. Afternoon Gertie. You had
lunch yet?

GERTIE searches her memory.

GERTIE
Lunch. Lunch. I remember that word. Is that the
traditional meal that office workers used to partake
of around the noon hour....in the years before I
came to work at WENN?

MAPLE
You want me to cover the phones for you?

GERTIE
Hallelujah! Just give me a second to—

MACKIE has stepped over to Gertieís desk and collars
Maple.

MACKIE
Maple, youíre a musician, a sound person.

MAPLE
Sound of mind and body, Mackie, how about you?

MACKIE
You have to see what Mr. Foley has come up with.

MAPLE
Oh, but I just told Gertie...

MACKIE
You wonít believe it!

He leads Maple away, as she shrugs an apology toward
Gertie. Gertie muses wistfully:

GERTIE
Lunch. I remember lunch.


Gertie was also supposed to escort Pepper Canarsie into the Green Room to see Mr. Eldridge. This is the original scene, which shows Pepper still has "the touch":

PEPPER
Ah, you're a sight for sore eyes.

ELDRIDGE
I have these drops I put in mine...

PEPPER
Same Tom Eldridge.

ELDRIDGE
Have you met Miss Gertrude Reece?

Gertie smiles.

GERTIE
I tried to give him the grand tour, but he wanted
to see you before anything. I have to get back to
the phones.

PEPPER
You could give me the Grand Tour later on, Gertrude.

GERTIE
Itís a deal, Pepper.

She leaves. Eldridge looks at Pepper with admiration.

ELDRIDGE
You work fast.


One of the many questions about "Who's Scott Sherwood?" on the newsgroup was "Why was the book of limericks used as the comparison for Victor's signature on the referral letter?" Hereby lies the tale:

GERTIE
Well, all I know is we were all perfectly willing
to build Victor a memorial. The reason Scott's the
one in trouble is because he moved the money,
opened the bank account, signed his own signature
on the letter of transfer—

BETTY
Signature? His signature on the letter...?

ELDRIDGE enters with a fresh pot of coffee.
Betty continues:

BETTY
Where would I find a document with Victor's
signature on it?

GERTIE
Victor's signature? In Mr. Sherwood's office, I
guess.

BETTY
I know, but Pruitt's in there.

ELDRIDGE
One of the last things Victor ever signed is right
in this room. Remember that book of Limericks I
showed you?

He goes to where the book of LIMERICKS (which he
showed Betty in Episode 26) sits in its previous
resting place. He picks it up, hands it to Betty.

BETTY
"To Tom..."

ELDRIDGE
That's me.

BETTY
I know, Mr. Eldridge. "...who makes all logic
as clear yet as surprising as a limerick..."
signed—"Victor Comstock." When did Victor give you
this book?

ELDRIDGE
Mr. Sherwood brought it with him from London when
he first showed up here, along with that letter.

GERTIE
What letter, Tom?

BETTY
The letter of introduction, the one that Victor
wrote, telling us just who Scott Sherwood was...


One of WENN's favorite fictional denizens never made it to the cast's infamous "kill the series" defense of Scott in "Who's Scott Sherwood?" Stay tuned to hear how Mackie concluded your afternoon with The Vagabond. This came just before the Brent/Elizabeth farewell, cheerio scene, BTW.

INT. THE STUDIO — LATER

MACKIE is The Vagabond again, wearing his trademark
smoking jacket, as EUGENIA plays his theme, and
FOLEY pops "champagne." Mackie suavely intones in
his Vagabond voice:

MACKIE
And so we meet again for another private afternoon
together, here in my luxurious penthouse high above
the city. My dear, have you ever wondered why I -
"The Vagabond" -meet you here in my secret hideaway
each afternoon for dancing and champagne?

MUSIC BUTTONS. MACKIE "levels" with the listener.

MACKIE
Well it's because I have a wife and six kids in the
suburbs. Why else would I meet you in the middle
of the afternoon for dancing and champagne? Now if
you'll excuse me, I have to catch the six-forty-seven
to Monroeville or the little lady will read me the
riot act.
(smiles)
Hey, don't be a stranger, you hear?

EUGENIA STRIKES A CHORD...


Here's the original opening scene from "The Importance of Being Betty"—wherein there's a lot more going on behind the scenes...:

MACKIE (WARM ANNOUNCER)
Ladies... remember when "June" meant "honeymoon?"

HILARY AS BECKY
Ah yes. "I do."

MACKIE
Ah yes. Ladies, picture that quaint secluded hotel
on the lake. The groom, still in his formal attire
from the wedding ceremony, paces nervously outside
the hotel room, while you change into something
soft and alluring, just for him. Remember?

HILARY AS BECKY
How could I forget?

MACKIE
At last, the impatient Groom throws open the hotel
room door...sees you...embraces you passionately...
and then...and then...

Hilary clamps her hand over her mike and asides to
Mackie:

HILARY
...and then usually the bride would come barging
in.

EUGENIA sounds "HERE COMES THE BRIDE."

MACKIE
Yes, weddings are a time for people to unite...
not only bride and groom -
(eye on Hilary)
and their very dear friends -
(back to mike)
but the entire family renewing their bonds of
loyalty and sacrifice...qualities you'll find right
here in the little town of Bonneyville Mills on:
"THIS GIRL'S KINFOLK."

MR. ELDRIDGE steps alongside HILARY, sharing her
mike.

HILARY AS BECKY
Oh Gramps! This wedding is costing you so much!

MR. ELDRIDGE AS POPS
I don't feel like I'm losing a granddaughter. I
feel like I'm losing a grand.

Mr. Eldridge looks about, re-consults script.

MR. ELDRIDGE AS GRAMPS
Sorry, gaining a grand. Son.

HILARY AS BECKY
I just pray nothing ever tears our family apart.
Oh Gramps, Gramps...

Emoting, she puts her arm around Mr. Eldridge's
shoulder and says directly to him:

HILARY
...I truly, truly love you.

Mr. Eldridge takes this "overture" literally,
looks at Hilary's arm around her shoulders and
replies as himself:

MR. ELDRIDGE
Oh, thank you dear but...shouldn't we wait till
we're off the air?


"The Importance of Being Betty"—Mackie sounds a bit perturbed...:

>>> TWO SCENES LATER, MACKIE fanfares a new
cooking show:

MACKIE
Now stay tuned for some hot new recipes on "IS
SOMETHING BURNING?" Today's menu will be...

MACKIE reaches out his arm because he knows BETTY
will walk through the door like clockwork which she
does. She hands him the script, does a u-turn
without breaking stride and exits just as quickly
as she entered.

MACKIE
...honoring The War of 1812, declared on this very
date in June. We'll be presenting a French and
British battle for your taste buds, featuring Beef
Wellington, with Napoleons for dessert.
(comments in direction of departed Betty:)
Cute. Then we'll probably tell you how to "bone
apart" a flounder.


This missing scene from "Pratfall" starts out in familiar territory, but then intertwines with two excised scenes that follow on Scott and Hilary's wastebasket encounter. Some familiar WENN themes are covered! (Note: The first missing sequence was actually filmed, but excised for time purposes.)

INT. THE STUDIO — MOMENTS LATER

CLOSE-UP ON EUGENIA

EUGENIA
It's such a weight upon my shoulders. Such a heavy
burden to bear alone.

CAMERA PULLS BACK showing Eugenia on her back, with
a big OLD-FASHIONED DUMB BELL POLE floating above
her shoulders. [The spherical weights at either
end are big enough that the pole floats above
Eugenia's head.) Eugenia tries to push up on the
dumb bell bar, but it won't move. GERTIE, ELDRIDGE
and FOLEY look on sympathetically.

GERTIE
Eugenia, just because your calisthenics program is
up for a Golden Lobe award doesn't mean you have to
turn into Charles Atlas.

ELDRIDGE
Or even Charlene Atlas.

EUGENIA
Just being nominated is a great honor, people. To
give the show anything less than my strongest effort
would be like cutting off my Golden Lobe despite my
face.

ELDRIDGE
It worked for Vincent Van Gogh.

EUGENIA
I've decided to build up my regime.

ELDRIDGE
That worked for Mussolini.

GERTIE
It looks very hard to lift, dear.

EUGENIA
I just need to think positive, like the little
engine that could... you know I think I can I
think I can I—

She GRUNTS as she tries to lift the weight. She
starts again

EUGENIA
— think I can I think I can I think I can...

INT. BETTY'S OFFICE — MOMENTS LATER

JEFF is standing at Betty's desk, upset, across from
where BETTY is seated.

JEFF
I don't think you can do this to me, Betty, not two
days before the awards. Having Scott replace me as
YOUNG DOCTOR TALBOT could tip the voting in Scott's
favor.

BETTY
Jeff, I have to think of more than just these Golden
Lobe awards. We're getting a ton of complaints
about the way you and Hilary aren't getting along on
YOUNG DOCTOR TALBOT.

JEFF
That's because Hilary keeps injecting our personal
problems into the program. She knows I can't get
unmarried until they find my un-wife, and until I
do, Hilary is undertaking to undo and unhinge me in
every underhanded, unprincipled way possible. She's
unbalanced, Betty. It's unbearable.

BETTY
Well, tell Hilary I'm only giving the two of you
un — one last chance, Jeff.

INT. THE STUDIO — CONTINUOUS

EUGENIA is seated on the organ bench, being hugged
by FOLEY and patted by GERTIE and ELDRIDGE; we see
her head over FOLEY's right shoulder as she sniffles

EUGENIA
Oh I thought I could I thought I could I thought I
could I thought I could...

ELDRIDGE
Now, now...

GERTIE
There, there...

INT. HALL OUTSIDE WRITER'S ROOM / STUDIO —
CONTINUOUS

SCOTT, one waste basket in hand, is rounding the
turn of the hall with HILARY. [They will eventually
end up outside the studio doors].

HILARY
Now not a word of this to anyone. I intend to use
this information to get the PRAT award, by hook or
by crook.

SCOTT
That's not very fair to the others.

HILARY
In our business, "hook" and "crook" come directly
after "fair and square." Scott, if you tell anybody
at this station that somebody at this station can
get me the award that somebody of my station
deserves, I'll tell Betty why you're carrying that
waste basket.

SCOTT
Hilary you wouldn't do that to what am I saying of
course you would —

HILARY
(simultaneously with him)
—of course I would meanwhile I still don't know
what Jeff's lawyers told him...

She nods in the direction of the window in Betty's
office. JEFF can be seen through it.

HILARY
They've probably advised him to go Flying Down To
Reno for a quick honeymoon with the future "Former
Mrs. Singer."

SCOTT
Come on, you know he's trying his best to untie the
knot with Pavla.

HILARY
Fred and Ginger took less time to split up.

HILARY
I should have split his head when I had half a mind
to kill him.

She flounces into the Studio. Scott looks down at
the waste basket "what am I doing with this?"

INT. BETTY'S OFFICE — CONTINUOUS

JEFF is protesting to BETTY.

JEFF
I don't see why I should be the one who has to give
up my part. Why not replace Hilary?

BETTY
Because Scott is just as established as "Young
Doctor Talbot" as you are. I mean, that's why you
both were nominated for a Golden Lobe.

SCOTT enters, his waste basket in hand.

SCOTT
Hi, uhm, just returning your waste basket, Betty.
I'm afraid that letter you were looking for isn't
in it.

BETTY
I've got the letter, it's the envelope I need.

Scott sees a chance to read what Victor wrote —

SCOTT
(studied casual)
Oh, well maybe if you were to show me the letter I'd
be able to find what would fit around it. You know,
like the Prince did in "Cinderella."

JEFF
No, no, that's not right, the Prince already had the
slipper. He didn't look at Cinderella's foot and
then go looking for a shoe that would fit it.

SCOTT
I don't mind looking at Betty's feet.

JEFF
By the way, I guess I should congratulate you,
Scott.

SCOTT
(hopeful)
Why, is Victor staying in Washington?

JEFF
No, you and I both got a Golden Lobe nomination for
the same part.

SCOTT
Oh I don't care about that stuff, Jeff. It's your
role. If I win, I'll give the award to you.

Jeff nods, deeply touched and admiring of Scott.

JEFF
Somehow I, I knew you'd say that, Scott.
(efficient)
And actually, I've drafted a simple letter of
agreement to that effect which I'd like you to
consider signing —

BETTY
Uhm, shouldn't one of you two award-winning actors
be on the air right now performing the part you made
famous?

Jeff looks at the clock, Scott looks at his watch.

JEFF & SCOTT
Oh will you look at the time.


  
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